Comments on: Paved With Good Intentions – Why You Do What You Do, What You Can Do About It

By: Dr. Rick Kirschner

Dr. Rick Kirschner — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:50:00 +0000

Thanks for the question and comment, Linda! The answer to your question can be found in a good predictive model of behavior, such as the Lens of Understanding in the book 'Dealing With People You Can't Stand' or in my latest work, 'Insider's Guide To The Art of Persuasion.' The Lens allows you to observe behavior and quickly identify what is driving it, and that case, screaming is indicative rather than problematic. Best wishes, Rick

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:16:41 +0000

What’s the best way to find out what their positive intentions are? Could be difficult if they are screaming at you. I’ve always dealt with confrontation by remaining calm and refrained adding fuel to the fire. People response by calming down but then walk away and I never find out what it was all about.

Linda

By: Dr. Rick Kirschner

Dr. Rick Kirschner — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:10:50 +0000

I really like your idea about effective communication happening naturally. The key is to get any chance of having a reaction out of the way.

By: Dr. Rick Kirschner

Dr. Rick Kirschner — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:59:35 +0000

@Eduard, thank you for the comment! Yes, positive intentions allows for better understanding, less conflict and more enjoyable interactions! You get it! best wishes, Rick

By: Ideas With A Kick

Ideas With A Kick — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:29:40 +0000

I find the idea of positive intentions very useful. When I’m dealing with people I can’t stand, once I realize their positive intentions, it’s easier for my to empathize with them and my negative emotions take a drop. From there, effective communication tends to happen naturally.

Eduard