Interview with Dr. Rick Kirschner about Dealing with People You Can’t Stand is now available on BAM Radio with Holly Alissa Bruno, and on iTunes.  The target audience for the show is educators and educational administrators. but the information will be useful for anyone.

You can listen to the interview here:

http://www.jackstreet.com/jackstreet/WHRT.Kirschner.cfm

You can download it on iTunes here:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dealing-people-you-cant-stand/id357941027?i=84198565

You can participate in Holly Bruno’s forum conversation about the show here:

http://www.bamstreet.com/forum

Hope you’re having a Super day!  This is my second post this week. It’s a work in progress.

Comparison, or contrast, can be used as a signal of persuasion.  It allows us to consider one thing in the light of another.  And in today’s technology news, I noticed two stories that offer several lessons in contrast. Now I’m curious to see how many comparisons can be made.

First up, John Breeden, who writes for GCN (Government Computer News,) responds to an email from Apple Inc.’s  CEO, Steve Jobs, after publishing something that wasn’t true about the new iPad battery life.  I’m beaming just thinking about it.

Second, Microsoft’s V.P. for Trustworthy Computing (I’m not kidding! As ironic as it sounds, that’s his title) offers a suggestion that to clean up the problem of the viruses and hacker networks that plague the Windows OS, we should put a tax on all internet users. I’m a Mac user.  I bristle at the thought.

That’s a bit of contrast.

That’s one kind.  There are many kinds, and the lesson is contrast.  Since comparison is persuasive, it’s useful sometimes to point it out.

Let’s start with  Breeden’s article, and the article he wrote that preceded it in which he essentially claimed Apple was misleading people on the battery life of the soon to be released iPad.

The first item traces back to an article written by John Breeden II on February 1st. Here’s what Breeden initially wrote:

“I’ve been covering and reviewing notebooks and battery technology for the past decade, and I know what the current technology is capable of. There is no way that a 1.5-pound computer is going to be able to drive an IPS display for ten hours as Steve Jobs claims. It just can’t happen. Perhaps if you let the iPad lapse into standby mode, you could squeeze it. But if you are actually using the device, my estimate would be less than three hours of power, and that’s being generous. The display would look amazing, but be quite a power hog.”

That was then, this is now.  Today, here’s what Breeden wrote (and you can read the whole article here.)

“As I was finishing this column, I e-mailed him to say that I didn’t mean to imply that he was lying during his iPad presentation, as several people accused me of in their comments. People make presentations written by marketers all the time that are not 100 percent truthful, and it doesn’t make them liars…I figured that would be the end of it.

Surprisingly, in about two hours, Jobs responded. You could tell it was him, too…. There was even a typo in the reply, as if he were in a hurry. I had also mentioned that one of the comments submitted to my original article had been signed with his name.

Jobs’ response: “Sorry, [it] wasn’t me. And, yes, we are getting 10 hours in 1.5 pounds.”

A brief response, but he was extremely nice about the whole thing. Heck, even taking the time to write back when I know he has plenty of other things to do makes him a good guy in my book.”

Breeden was clearly impressed that despite his inferences and accusations casting aspersions on Apple, Steve had the good graces of responding to him personally about it.  I like the contrast of this image of Jobs with the sharper side of his reputation.

What I would have liked a little more of in Breeden’s article is some sense of remorse on his part for essentially calling Jobs (and Apple) a liar.   More is an implied comparison.

Remember, Breeden started by claiming his authority from having reviewed battery technology for over a decade, implying that he knows what he’s talking about when he says “NO WAY”.   But now, he directs readers’ attention away from that claim by focusing, not on a mea culpa, but instead on his glee at having been contacted by Steve Jobs.  And who can blame him.

Because, ok, I get it.  It’s cool that Steve wrote to him.  The reality distortion field got him.  The glee makes sense.  Happens all the time.

And maybe Breeden works with marketing people who think misrepresentation is acceptable, and in his words, such misrepresentation “… doesn’t make them liars.” If that’s so, then a decade of covering technology didn’t help him to realize that Apple doesn’t operate in the same paradigm as the company Breeden seems to keep.  I’m asking the comparative question, is misrepresentation lying or not?

The fact that Steve took the time to politely straighten him out says a lot about Apple Computer and the guy who holds its vision in the world. The products (just like the service, support, and design) are insanely great.  But Breeden was unable to see it with the iPad, because he was blinded by his own prejudices and had already arrived at the end of the road of thought on the matter.  And there’s the contrast.  Insanely great. Unable to see it.

I’ve been using Apple products for as long as they’ve made them. I’m always happy to say that I find their claims do hold up and their products do just work.  Their design sensibility is organized around the user, as opposed to other platforms and their shills who insist the user adapt to their design.  And their service is world class amazing. (Just this morning, I contacted Apple regarding my wife’s Macbook, which has a week of Applecare left on it.  Through a link on the Apple.com website, they called me, and right way!  And I only spent 5 minutes on the phone to get a repair set up and a postage paid box shipped to me so I can send it in to Apple for testing and repair.)  Clearly, I am a big fan.

So if Jobs says it, I tend to trust it.  Increasingly, that’s true for more and more people, as Apple’s growing market share and user base demonstrates. Now, based on Breeden’s writing, can the same be said for him?  When a person speaks with such certainty and is later proven wrong, as Breeden no doubt will be, it undermines their authority and credibility. Because now people will probably compare his next comment to his last comment.

I think the way Breedon could set it right is by recognizing that he owes Apple AND his readers an outright apology. That’s how my Mom brought me up.  She said it takes character to admit to a mistake and apologize for it.  Breeden’s fanboy breathlessness, which, again, I completely understand, still falls short of an apology and does nothing to restore his credibility. A mistake with an apology almost always works out better than a mistake without one, in comparison.

An apology might sound like this. “I was wrong to dispute a claim about battery life in the new iPad based on nothing more than my limited way of looking at things. I am sorry to have misled you, my reader, rather than inform you. If you give me the chance, I’ll do better next time, by either waiting until I know what I’m talking about, or doing enough research to have an informed opinion.”

How different that is from what Breeden actually wrote, comparatively speaking.

“I look forward to testing it in the lab.”  Yeesh!   Well, we all do, actually.  But in the meantime, where’s the benefit of the doubt?  Which goes for me in what I’ve written too.

Now, the second part of this post on contrast has to do with this story from PCWorld. Apparently, a Microsoft V.P. believes that all of us internet users should pay for cleaning up the mess of bad bahavior (hijacked computers, stolen numbers, and plagues of viruses) created by the buggy code under the hood of their Windows operating system.  Buggy code, by the way, is exactly what you might expect to find when someone has reverse engineered a functional system (Mac OS).

Typical of the reactions to this idea is the following comment from keimanzero:

There’s a special club that MicroSoft bigwigs and other big high muckety muck execs in business belong to. It is called ‘Idiots R Us’ and a ‘net tax’ should be filed in the circular file under idiotic lamebrained moronic ideas!

What I see here is a beautiful lesson in contrast.

In the latter case, we’re to never mind the fact that Microsoft continues to be a profitable company that raked in $14.569 billion in 2009 net profits and is sitting on a hoard of  $31.5 billion in cash on-hand. The solution offered is that the problem isn’t their responsibility, it’s ours.

In the former case, the CEO of Apple is responsible right down to the details of the claims he makes for products. But the technology writer, who most likely uses a PC instead of a Mac, fails to take responsibility for his behavior.

Let’s say that another way.  On the one hand, you have a company, Apple Inc., that is responsible in its behavior and for its behavior, that speaks up when someone says something that isn’t true, that fixes problems it creates quickly and without justification, and that doesn’t allow the marketing department to make claims that don’t hold up in the real world.

On the other hand, representing Microsoft, a key person floating the idea to shift the cost of the mess their stuff created onto the rest of us, like it could happen.  Of course I hope that’s not the case.  That’s not the Apple way.

While I’m a mac person, I have friends who make Microsoft products and friends who use Microsoft products and like them. They tell me it is a powerful greenhouse for really smart people. But as to accountability,  there are two ways of doing business. Either your purpose is to serve others, or it’s to serve yourself.  And while these two articles, when considered together, fail to offer a clear contrast between the two companies, still, they offer a powerful lesson in contrast.

Rather than remain silent, I’ve had my say. Now I’m heading back to the Apple.com homepage to stare, er, look at the iPad again!

Your comments and feedback are welcome.

Rick

]]> http://theartofchange.com/wordpress/persuasion/technology-news-re-apple-and-microsoft-offers-lesson-in-contrast/feed 3 http://theartofchange.com/wordpress/media/dr-k-quoted-extensively-in-seasons-screamings-article http://theartofchange.com/wordpress/media/dr-k-quoted-extensively-in-seasons-screamings-article#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:10:01 +0000 Dr. Rick Kirschner http://drkblog.com/?p=2364

The big days of Christmas and New Year are drawing near.   And this morning, Canadians woke up to a useful and entertaining story in the life section of their papers that offered them an alternative to tearing the hair out over difficult family members.  Written by the wonderful columnist Joanne Richard, Dr. Kirschner is quoted extensively in the article, and you can read it here.

You’ll also find it here:

1. Season’s Screaming
What to do when family fueds present themselves during holiday festivities

The Ottawa Sun, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: 28

2. Tips to bring out the best in each other

The Calgary Sun, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: 33

3. Season’s Screaming
What to do when family feuds present themselves during holiday festivities

The Calgary Sun, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: 33

4. Season’s Screaming

The Barrie Examiner, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: C1

5. Season’s screaming

The Welland Tribune, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: C3

6. Season’s Screaming

The Kingston Whig-Standard, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final ,
Section: Lifestyle , Page: 48

7. Season’s Screaming

The Brantford Expositor, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final ,
Section: Lifestyle , Page: D1

9. Season’s Screaming

The Timmins Daily Press, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final ,
Section: Lifestyle , Page: B13

12. Season’s Screaming
What to do when family fueds present themselves during holiday festivities

The Edmonton Sun, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: 57

13. Tips to bring out the best in each other

The Edmonton Sun, Saturday, December 19, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section:
Lifestyle , Page: 57

Happy Holidays to ALL our readers, students and clients!

An article that includes a quote from Dr. Rick Kirschner, written by Joanne Richard, of Sun Media, on chain letters that you get in your email, has appeared quickly, (one might almost say virally) in newspapers across Canada and the world.  It’s a fun read.  You can find it in any of the following referenced articles.  Please leave your comments at the end of this post!

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at The Art of Change Skills for Life and Dr. K’s Blog!

1. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Ottawa Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 22 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 210 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

2. Breaking the chain How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

The Ottawa Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 22 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

3. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Winnipeg Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 16 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 210 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

4. Breaking the chain
How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

The Winnipeg Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 16 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

5. Believe and you shall receive
Expert says many people feel ‘protected, assisted and supported by an angelic force’

The London Free Press, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: C2 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 768 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

6. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Toronto Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 35 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 210 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

7. Breaking the chain How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

The Toronto Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 35 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

8. Breaking the chain
How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

The Calgary Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 31 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

9. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Calgary Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 31 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 211 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

10. Breaking the chain TECHNOLOGY: How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

Woodstock Sentinel-Review, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 7 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 640 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

11. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

Woodstock Sentinel-Review, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 7 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

12. Breaking the CHAIN

The Kingston Whig-Standard, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 23 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

13. Breaking the CHAIN

The Belleville Intelligencer, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

14. Breaking the chain

The Brantford Expositor, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B5 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

15. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Brantford Expositor, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B5 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

16. Hate mail, or breaking the chain

The Niagara Falls Review, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B12 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 639 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

17. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Cornwall Standard-Freeholder, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 9 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

18. Breaking the chain

The Cornwall Standard-Freeholder, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 9 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

19. Breaking the chain

The Timmins Daily Press, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

20. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Timmins Daily Press, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

21. Chained to superstitions?

The Sudbury Star, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: A7 , Matches: 9 , Word Count: 639 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

22. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Sudbury Star, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: A7 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

23. Believe and you shall receive

The Sudbury Star, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: A12 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 768 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

24. Breaking the CHAIN

The Welland Tribune, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: A10 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

25. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Welland Tribune, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: A10 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

26. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The St. Catharines Standard, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B3 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

27. Breaking the CHAIN

The St. Catharines Standard, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B3 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

28. Breaking the chain

Brockville Recorder and Times, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

29. Breaking the chain

The Barrie Examiner, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 322 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

30. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Peterborough Examiner, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B5 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

31. Breaking the CHAIN

The Peterborough Examiner, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B5 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

32. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Sarnia Observer, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B1 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

33. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Sault Star, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B10 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 207 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

34. Breaking the chain

The Chatham Daily News, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B8 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 364 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

35. Chained to superstitions?

The Sarnia Observer, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B1 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 639 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

36. Chained to superstitions?

The Sault Star, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: B10 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 639 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

37. Breaking the CHAIN

The North Bay Nugget, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: News , Page: A9 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 641 Byline: JOANNE RICHARD

38. It’s your right to ignore e-mails, expert says

The Edmonton Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 48 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 210 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA

39. Breaking the chain How to avoid the scourge of chain e-mail letters

The Edmonton Sun, Tuesday, November 24, 2009 , Edition: Final , Section: Lifestyle , Page: 48 , Matches: 5 , Word Count: 642 Byline: BY JOANNE RICHARD

Today, I received an email from a reader and freelance journalist in South Africa, asking me to answer a short series of questions on conflict resolution for teenage students.

I love the idea of resolving conflict instead of suffering it and making it worse.  And though not every interpersonal problem is solvable, most are and much less is required than the people involved might assume.   I frequently do this kind of work with my coaching clients and organizational clients and it’s so satisfying to be a part of transitioning people from wrestling with what they don’t want and what can’t be done to focusing together on what they do want and what can be done to bring it about.   Effective communication is the key, and breaking the chains of reaction in yourself and then others is the beginning of it.

I found answering the writer’s questions to be an interesting exercise, and today I’d like to share my response with you.

Q:  What practical skills can you suggest to help people communicate effectively?

A:  There are three sets of skills worth acquiring:  Attitudinal, interpersonal, strategic.

Attitudinal skills allow us to quickly adjust to the communication interaction without taking anything personally or being steered off track by the emotional reactions of others – they allow us to stabilize ourselves in the situation so that we can be responsible and responsive instead of emotional and reactive. Attitudinal skills are necessary to keep us current and up to date with what is happening instead of getting lost in what is not happening.

Interpersonal skills include knowing how to find common ground with someone who, on the face of it, is very different than you. There’s also skill in knowing how to listen as a way of drawing people out or drawing them in.

Strategic skills allow you to change the trajectory of your interactions with others and aim them at something worthwhile.  These include specific strategies like speaking so that someone wants to listen, using gentle confrontation and tactful interruptions.  Persuasion skills allow you to strategically increase your influence.

Q:  What can we do, practically, if we think the other person is not listening to us?

A:  The best choice I’ve ever learned to make when I don’t think someone is listening is to stop talking and start listening.  Because chances are that if you’re not feeling heard and understood, neither is the other person.  People tend not to listen when they have something on their mind, and helping them clear it increases the likelihood that they can then hear you.

Q: What can we do, practically, if the other person starts to get very angry or aggressive?

A:  When things threaten to spin out of control, that’s a good time to stabilize yourself (breath into it, get your perspective back), then seek common ground, and find a way to send signals to the person that you’re with them rather than against them.

Q: What can we do if we start getting really angry with the other person?

A:  If you start to lose it, do yourself and the other person a favor and excuse yourself, and get away someplace until you calm down.  Otherwise, you’ll be sending mixed messages, and the emotional message you send will obstruct any hope the other person will get the message you’d prefer to send.

Q:  When we have a problem with someone, or are arguing with them, what responsibilities do we have? Towards the other person and ourselves.

If you have a problem with someone, I think it wise to take ownership for it 100%, identify it as your problem rather than the other person’s problem.  Otherwise, you wind up in the untenable position of trying to work it out through someone who may not agree that it’s a problem.

If you’re in an argument backed by emotion, the battle over who is right can be damaging and pointless.  If it’s an argument between two reasonable people trying to arrive at a proper conclusion, and it involves the use of critical thinking skills and the asking of questions,and of hearing each other before speaking, then it can have a positive outcome.

I believe it a useful assumption and productive approach that you are 100% responsible for the results (good or bad) that you get with people.

Q:  When resolving conflict with another person/people, what rights should we remember that we have, and that they have?

A:  An interesting question.  Not sure what you mean by ‘rights.’ In a conflict situation, it’s the needing to be right that drives the conflict. So suffice it to say that I think it’s good to want what you want, as long as you temper it by also wanting what you get. YOu can want to be heard.  You can want to communicate your ideas clearly and completely.  YOu can want to influence someone.  At the same time, whatever you want for yourself, you will find value in wanting it for the other person as well, and putting some effort into helping them secure their rights as part of the process of securing yours.

Q:   How should these rights and responsibilities influence the way we resolve conflict?

I was sitting in the backseat of a limousine, on my way to a hotel to give a speech, when the driver turned and asked me what I do.  I told him I was in town to give a speech.  ”What about?” he asked, and I told him, “Bringing out the best in people at their worst.”  ”How do you do that?” he asked me. I told him the following.

If you wish to resolve conflict, seek out common ground before dealing with differences.  Two people standing together on common ground can resolve any difference between them.  But if you want the conflict to persist, focus on the differences and emphasize them.  Then nothing will be resolved.

I’d love to hear your comments on this exercise in Q&A.  And if you have questions, let’s hear them!  Who knows?  Might even become my next blog post!

Be well,
Rick